A rant about…

So after ‘A rant about trends’, I realised there are a lot of things I really hate that are in fashion right now. So ‘A rant about…’ is going to become a series. This way my family don’t need to hear me go on and on about the stupid things I have seen that day.

Firstly on todays rant. CAMO. Camouflage should be worn for practical reasons, like y’no fighting in war. There is no need to look like a forest when you are doing your food shop. “Camouflage is the use of any combination of materials, coloration, or illumination for concealment” but you aren’t disguising yourself, you just look like a tit. likeeee seriously please stop wearing a camo tracksuit. we CAN see you and it ain’t working sweetie.  Screen Shot 2017-11-21 at 16.23.18

look over there, theres just a floating head…btw that joke needs to stop, its tragic. yes Maddey that includes you.

OOOH cute top, oh wait it has GRL BOSS written all over it. Why are slogans a thing? Over the years slogans have been creeping into main stream fashion… Topshop, ZARA and possibly even River Island (but we don’t go in there). There are some slogans that I don’t mind, I’m looking at you Wildfox but in the high-street the slogans are really cheesy. Sadly these high street chains think they are Brielliant.  I just don’t understand them, what does frANTIc romANTIc even mean? Maddey and I popped into ZARA and there was a T-shirt with a printed slogan of  ‘This could be a ——- existential slogan on it. sorry come again… WTAF. Or this really really random slogan ‘i like you more than unicorns and ice-cream together.’Screen Shot 2017-11-21 at 16.23.59

I am a trainer lover. Im very basic with my trainers, converse, superstars, Rosheruns. As I’m all about honesty, I have a pair of air max., the classic ones in baby pink… when I wear them I walk with a bounce. But there are some I can’t deal with…Air Max 97. I don’t even know if thats their name. But I know they are so bad.. so so bad! I’m not sure where I start to describe this shoe. For some reason this shoe reminds me of Sportacus from Lazytown or those trainers you had to wear if you forgot your own in P.E. I think I will just let a picture describe them.

Screen Shot 2017-11-21 at 16.10.33

 

Or theseScreen Shot 2017-12-11 at 20.45.03.png

enough said.

Is there anything worse on this planet than a girl wearing cheap leggings. They are as transparent as a window. I really don’t want to see your crack munching on a thong. I am aware that leggings are very very comfy some days when you can’t be arsed a pair of leggings and a PINK sweater will make everything ok. Also, never pair leggings with a crop top. It is truly terrible. As blair Waldorf says tights are not pants…and leggings are not trousers. Please, please, pleaseplease, buy the more expensive leggings. Goodbye Primark hello Marks and Spencer.

Well there are some of this weeks worst things… I wonder what will be next…..

EL

TPS X

A mini rant about trends.

Do you ever walk down the street and say to yourself “but why???” I do, I’m all about being who you are and expressing yourself but i’m not being funny some of these beauty trends need to stop. For most girls, experimenting with makeup stops around 15 when you realised how to put it on and that those stupid sponge ‘brushes’ that put eye shadow on are shit.

I was never a massive makeup fan when I was younger… well I did have that mouse foundation which was the craze. Anyone else go for a very very light foundation, lighter than you needed to give you that flawless finish?! That was it for face, you kept the foundation on your lips as it was like a  nude lipstick. A little bit of mascara, borrowed off your mum and you were away. NOT ANYMORE. I see 14 years walking around with faces that look like they’ve been carved by Michelangelo. Have you ever eaten marmite on toast, and you can’t fit it all in your mouth so you get marmite on your checks?? maybe that’s just me..well that’s the contour. Eyebrows that are not eyebrows. I actually don’t know what they are? Thick, black, a fade that is extra faded. Eyeshadow and eyeliner which is so sharp it could kill. Highlight that is on Ecstasy. It goes so high up, basically everything is highlighted. I blame the Kardashians….. You will notice, now I’ve pointed it out this makeup trend, that you can no longer see any person behind the makeup. Every girl looks the same. Same colour face, same eyebrows, same everything. Makeup to me is about enhancing not hiding! Sometimes less is more.

Crop top!!!! Crop should get the chop. Why is everything cropped??? I used to shop in Topshop now I shop in ZARA don’t know if I have said but I shop in Zara. Every Jumper and t-shirt in Topshop was cropped, is cropped and will be cropped. Auto correct wants Topshop to be Toyshop which is very fitting considering there clothes would only fit Barbies. I am a massive lover of jumpers. My go to is jumper and jeans… I have bought some cropped jumpers from Topshop and they are soooooo annoying. I wear jumpers because I’m cold, so having my stomach out in the middle of winter isn’t helping. When did it become a trend? I always thought trends come and go. Why hasn’t this trend gone???

Another thing on my rant list is merchandise. Have you ever noticed how many girls are walking around with Nirvana slogan tops. The only reason girls know of the band is because Little Mix did a cover… don’t actually know if that’s true. Buying tour merch is part of the show.. you buy the tour t-shirt so you can have a new pj top. Not so you wear it in public. Right now you can buy a top from a well known Toyshop (yes I actually mean Topshop) that has KISS across the front. Its not cool, or grungy. You are not a fan of the band if all you have heard is one song, but can’t remember how it goes. Now I could wear a 1D top out and about, I could sing all their songs just like that. Hi Harry Styles, call me. But I won’t, why? because its a pyjama top!!

Thigh high boots. Hear me out. Picture this: I go on insta, I’m scrolling down. I stop. WOW she’s so cool, her thigh high boots look amazing, you can see the quality, bet they are designer, oh nice Stuart Weitzman. I scroll a little more, a girl wearing a cheap version that have fallen down because the fabric is rubbish. That is what I hate, the cheap version! Who wants to tell people that they ain’t stylish. Oh and pairing them with a mini, still isn’t channelling the 60’s.

Belts are handy things. They stop people being able to see your crack.. however, belts recently have became something else. The humble belt has evolved into a corset-like item. This corset belt is truly hideous, especially when it is worn over a t-shirt. If you are wanting to channel Agatha Trunchbull then head to ZARA, they have loads of them. Unfortunately halloween has already past so you will have to wait until next year to dress up as a scary, hammer throwing, head teacher. Just because a designer did it on a runway doesn’t mean it looks good. If I ever see anyone wearing one I will send them to the chokey, to teach them a lesson. This trend shouldn’t be a trend, lets keep the belt as just a belt, cheers. Just so you know I’m right and you’re wrong, and theres no thing you can do about it.Screen Shot 2017-11-08 at 12.32.47

My last one, I don’t even know what it is. Basically, you get a dress then you take a pair of scissors to it. Are these still clothes, half the material is gone?? Like there’s a front of the dress and a back but the side is just some string. I think some people call these ‘Cut outs’. Cut outs to the extreme. Now I don’t want to sound rude, and if you like them, you like them but when I see them I just think stripper. Wheres your pole babes?? I’m the pole-r opposite, I like to have the full dress and have people think that I look ‘boring’ than have people think I look cheaper than a happy meal.

If you are reading this and think what a bitch I love all these trends. Then you go Glenn Coco, no-one is stopping you! But if you are agreeing with me then you are either, old..er than young, are a friend and we have discussed it or you are Maddey.

Please don’t take offence to my tongue-in- cheek, you need to be strong, as strong as the lace holding your dress in place.

TPS X