A letter to Bravissimo

Dear Bravissimo,

You know the saying mutton dressed as lamb, unfortunately when I go bra shopping I’m left feeling lamb dressed as mutton. I understand that bigger cups means more material but come on, we don’t need thhhatt much material!

When Maddey and I were younger we would put a massive bra on our heads and have a giggle, questioning who would/ could have boobs that big. Turns out it’s me, my boobs really are that big.

The women in the Patterson household represent the world of boobs. Small, Medium and EXTRA EXTRA LARGE. Mum’s the smallest, her bras are lacey and pretty, you’ll often see her styling a Ted Baker one  how fancy!. Maddey buys her bras from Victoria’s Secret or Boux Avenue; these have the real wow factor. Every colour under the sun with sparkles, lace, bows, padding, push-ups, plunge backs, you name it she’s got it. My bras… well they are basic. Not basic like classic. reaaal basic. reaaal boring.

As a young woman with massive nunga-nungas that’s for you Dave the Laugh, I want to feel like everyone else...everyone else with smaller boobs. On occasion, a satin/basic bra is needed but sometimes you want to wear something different, something “fashionable”. As I scroll through your website and flick through the brochure I’m not left feeling inspired. I see hundreds of practical options; nudes, blacks, blues. I don’t see anything fun. For me, your patterns are too dated and colour schemes.. I’m going to say it.. are granny-ish.

Comfort is a major part of a bra, and don’t get me wrong you bras are the comfiest! They fit like a glove… that is after I have had a fitting, trying every bra..in every size. But I don’t think they represent the young woman of today. Realistically, your target audience probably isn’t 20-25year olds and therefore your designs will mirror this. However, you are in a position to change the way 20-25yrs look at their bodies and boobs.

Remember that girl at school that was smart, arty, everyones friend and somehow really good at Netball (she probably played county-its fine i didn’t want to play anyway). *eyyye roll, I’m not jealous promise* Well thats my reaction when I see girls with envious boobs well done Mad your boobs are great.

So if I could tell you what I want to see more of, this is what I would start with:

  • sparkles- a few diamonités never hurt anyone or how about glittery material???
  • scalloped edging- nothing is more boring than just an edge, why can’t we have some scalloped edging or lace to finish the cup off softly.
  • colour schemes- less lilac more ‘fashionable’ colours; khaki, mustard yellow, bright pinks and reds etc.
  • more lace less flowers
  • straps- The size of the straps are huge (I’m sure they have to be to help keep ’em up) but have you thought about making the straps look pretty. The obvious is lace edges but make sure it’s more than just a small irritating hoop!

A girl can dream right??!

As a big-boobed gal there’s a pretty short list to where I can shop for bras, if I got a pound everytime someone says ‘have you tried M&S?’ I would be a very very rich girl! Gwen Stefani rich. Bravissimo and the in-store staff are the best, and I’m not just going there because they are the only place that fits me… I would recommend them to anyone, of any age. I love the ethos and determination to help those that have to carry a weekly food shop.. on their chest!!!

Sometimes it hard being a woman, do guys realise how hard it is to multitask??

…like walking and not falling over your boobs is an Olympic sport. I deserve a medal. wheres my medal Seb??

Yours,

El- TPS X

PS. Your lighting in the Newcastle branch is still rubbish!!!!!!

PPS. I hope too see you in Tokyo 2020

BIG BOOBS, BIG PROBLEMS

There is no way of hiding it, I have big boobs. Bigger than the UK’s average, biggest in the family.  Big boobs mean big problems. see picture below… big right?!!IMG_2463

One shop and one shop only. I struggle to find a bra that fits, I am aware that I have bigger boobs but they are nothing in comparison to the worlds biggest (thats something like ZZZ). Yet I can only find bras in Bravissimo. It’s a strange shop in Newcastle, upstairs in Eldon Gardens. yes in the place with the stupid water spraying sound. Even walking there you feel like a kid down a back alley getting up to no good. It is definitely not inviting. But, I go as i’m a strong independent woman that can conquer anything. I would like to think I would make it out the last round on Raven, but theres somethings in life that will always remain a mystery.

The terrible lighting is by far outweighed by the range of women working there. Young or old, there is someone everyone can associate with. Walking in your are hit in the face with bras, fruit ninja vibes. Walls full of matching sets. Depending on bra size you start to filter down your selection.

I always have a bra fitting. Its so so so important to be wearing the correct size bra, don’t be put of with the idea of a bra fitting. It is not awkward, not embarrassing and they don’t stare at your boobs the whole time. Did I mention they are free?? Studies show that over 80% of woman are wearing the wrong sized bra. If I told you 80% of woman wear the wrong size shoes, everyone would laugh, and only time you want 80% is in a test.

Big boobs sadly means non of those really pretty bras from Victoria’s Secret, but hey least the underwear fits. Bravissimo are trying to create ‘pretty’ bras.. however, they are still ever so grandma-like. I am 22 not 42. I want to feel pretty in a bra, not just wear one to hold them up so I don’t fall over them. I understand that the lacey bras don’t support you as well as the grandma bras but Bravissimo please start thinking about the age of woman that shop with you.

You might all want to sit down for this. I HIT THE TENTH BRA FREE. A task I thought was impossible. Ten bras don’t sound a lot but, I has taken me years. The last time I visited Bravissimo, the left with a bag full of bra’s and a lot less money.

Hear are some of my favourites in store right now:

Becca Plunge Bra in Lemon. A great fit, its padding free so you boob fills the space making it very comfortable. Soft lemon looks effortless against skin. Another point is that the straps are not that thick. Some straps are thicker than a seatbelt, it’s ever so soul destroying.Screen Shot 2017-10-19 at 13.20.47

Elise Plunge Bra in Nude and Black. A simple style that sits flat on your chest. The cup is soft, making a great day bra. A lace top trim makes sure you not going to fall out of it when you do that awkward run trying to get on to the metro before the door shuts. A win win for all.Screen Shot 2017-10-19 at 13.21.58

Lola Bra in Nude. Some days I love this bra other days not so much. The fabric is strong, like strong. If you have big enough boobs you could use it as a bag for life. Now and then I feel like it digs in slightly under the arm, but this could be that strange boob fat we all have at the side. The pattern on the cup is lovely, although I find the lace trim on the straps a little irritating. Screen Shot 2017-10-19 at 13.21.43

Satine Plunge in Black and Navy. A fantastic day bra that is comfortable. Very soft as it is cotton lined. Great t-shirt bra. One tip, don’t over wash it as it looses its shape very quickly.Screen Shot 2017-10-19 at 13.22.18

Unlike Maddey, I don’t buy matching underwear sets. Most days I struggle to match my socks. So please don’t hate me, I just can’t manage it on a day to day basis. That and I can’t afford it.

If you still do the Georgia and Jas pencil test, then I would recommend you go and get measured. Don’t take advice from Georgia, lets not forget that she stalked Robbie, kissed Peter Dyer and listens to whale music.

EL

TPS X

PS. Bravissimo if you ever read this, please change the lighting in the Newcastle Store. Its just as dark as Hollister but without the pretty boys.

Side note: an Olive costume would be great for halloween 2017. 

ALL IMAGES OF BRAS FROM BRAVISSIMO.

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