A letter to Bravissimo

Dear Bravissimo,

You know the saying mutton dressed as lamb, unfortunately when I go bra shopping I’m left feeling lamb dressed as mutton. I understand that bigger cups means more material but come on, we don’t need thhhatt much material!

When Maddey and I were younger we would put a massive bra on our heads and have a giggle, questioning who would/ could have boobs that big. Turns out it’s me, my boobs really are that big.

The women in the Patterson household represent the world of boobs. Small, Medium and EXTRA EXTRA LARGE. Mum’s the smallest, her bras are lacey and pretty, you’ll often see her styling a Ted Baker one  how fancy!. Maddey buys her bras from Victoria’s Secret or Boux Avenue; these have the real wow factor. Every colour under the sun with sparkles, lace, bows, padding, push-ups, plunge backs, you name it she’s got it. My bras… well they are basic. Not basic like classic. reaaal basic. reaaal boring.

As a young woman with massive nunga-nungas that’s for you Dave the Laugh, I want to feel like everyone else...everyone else with smaller boobs. On occasion, a satin/basic bra is needed but sometimes you want to wear something different, something “fashionable”. As I scroll through your website and flick through the brochure I’m not left feeling inspired. I see hundreds of practical options; nudes, blacks, blues. I don’t see anything fun. For me, your patterns are too dated and colour schemes.. I’m going to say it.. are granny-ish.

Comfort is a major part of a bra, and don’t get me wrong you bras are the comfiest! They fit like a glove… that is after I have had a fitting, trying every bra..in every size. But I don’t think they represent the young woman of today. Realistically, your target audience probably isn’t 20-25year olds and therefore your designs will mirror this. However, you are in a position to change the way 20-25yrs look at their bodies and boobs.

Remember that girl at school that was smart, arty, everyones friend and somehow really good at Netball (she probably played county-its fine i didn’t want to play anyway). *eyyye roll, I’m not jealous promise* Well thats my reaction when I see girls with envious boobs well done Mad your boobs are great.

So if I could tell you what I want to see more of, this is what I would start with:

  • sparkles- a few diamonités never hurt anyone or how about glittery material???
  • scalloped edging- nothing is more boring than just an edge, why can’t we have some scalloped edging or lace to finish the cup off softly.
  • colour schemes- less lilac more ‘fashionable’ colours; khaki, mustard yellow, bright pinks and reds etc.
  • more lace less flowers
  • straps- The size of the straps are huge (I’m sure they have to be to help keep ’em up) but have you thought about making the straps look pretty. The obvious is lace edges but make sure it’s more than just a small irritating hoop!

A girl can dream right??!

As a big-boobed gal there’s a pretty short list to where I can shop for bras, if I got a pound everytime someone says ‘have you tried M&S?’ I would be a very very rich girl! Gwen Stefani rich. Bravissimo and the in-store staff are the best, and I’m not just going there because they are the only place that fits me… I would recommend them to anyone, of any age. I love the ethos and determination to help those that have to carry a weekly food shop.. on their chest!!!

Sometimes it hard being a woman, do guys realise how hard it is to multitask??

…like walking and not falling over your boobs is an Olympic sport. I deserve a medal. wheres my medal Seb??

Yours,

El- TPS X

PS. Your lighting in the Newcastle branch is still rubbish!!!!!!

PPS. I hope too see you in Tokyo 2020

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