calling for consistency

Being a girl is so much harder than being a boy. Boys; Small, Medium, Large…simple. Girls; Small, Medium, Large but even though you are a uk 10 you might need a large in that top but an extra small in that one… and yes you will defiantly need to try it on.

So Maddey and I visited Zara for the first time (in 2 days) and realised that the sizings are utter bull. To us, the size isn’t as important, we simply like clothes that fit. Knowing Zara, we have to try everything on. Which is a nightmare because changing rooms are always really hot and I have to try really hard not to get makeup/fake tan on clothes that I can’t buy because daddy didn’t give me his credit card. LIFE IS TOUGH.

I exercise now  round of applause, and managed to get into a medium sized trouser. Happy days I thought, smaller size means new clothes. I headed to Zara to buy some new trousers in the new smaller size. I came crashing back down from my new body high when only the XL fit. WTF. SERIOUSLY. Now, I knew that it was just the stupid sizing. But, if I was a young girl that had self-esteem issues this would have really affected the way I saw myself. As a society we lust over the ‘skinny, 6ft models’ that we see on our social media on a daily basis. Women idolise such attributes and deem them to be ‘perfect and beautiful’. There is nothing wrong with being a size Large, if you live an active and healthy lifestyle, and of course nothing wrong with being an extra small if you live an active and healthy lifestyle. But in a world that is obsessed with self image we need better continuity in women sizings.

We need to stop producing clothes which are as diverse in their sizings. Girls that are a Small should be able to buy a small in any shop. Maddey (a fit size 8) had to buy a Large in a denim skirt from Zara. Maddey is CLEARLY not a Large (Zara says a uk 14 is equivalent to their L). I can’t help but think this must have a detrimental effect on women. A size 8 is not Large. No girl should be forced to go up a couple of sizes.

Some women and young girls are ‘dieting’ in order to be a extra small in clothing, this is incredibly dangerous as we don’t have accurate sizing. These girls could be a uk 8 but needing to buy medium/large etc giving them a false image of their bodies. This is not a fact but I think there must be a correlation between the sizing issue and body dysmorphia/ eating disorders.

Understandably, women sizing must be hard to produce, the majority of men are ‘up and down’ one body shape, for women we have those things called boobs… and hips… and an ass. Surely within this we can have some consistency. Maybe its time for the leading clothing stores to come together and create a more consistent clothing sizes for their manufactures to produce.

 Make a small a small and a large a large. Lets not be clothing sizing fluid, these labels are important.


exclaimer: daddy never gives me the card, even though I ask really really nicely




21st century dating

Dating is tough and its boring. Gone are the days of meeting your other half at your local village dance. that is how everyones grandparents met right?! The ‘well back in our day..’ tips are a little tired. No you can’t just talk to a stranger in the street, it doesn’t work that way. Can we just skip this part and go straight to the marriage, living nice house with an aga and an orangery and maybe a couple of cool mini me’s that I can dress up???

I’m pretty sure trying to avoid creepy boys (and old men) in clubs is like trying to get through the last round of Raven. Have you ever seen anyone survive that round? Have you ever seen someone successfully avoid a creepy guy? Maddeys suggests my single pals and I go to bars to pick up the boyz but then we end up drinking 3 bottles of wine and deciding our next business venture which don’t need no man. *finger snap* #INDEPENTANTWOMEN

and the ‘ you’ll meet someone at work’ also is bull. What happens if you work in a cyclists cafe where the average age for the men strutting through the door is 70. I mean I could be a sugar baby but I’ve seen these guys in tight lycra. very tight lycra. I really don’t want to see anymore. Just take your coffee and go.

Guess the only option is tinder. but the selection is poor. I’ve already gone through the people around me, if I up my age range, i’ll end up with their dads. Just remember to turn off notifications when in public.. everyone knows the tinder sound… and everyone will look.

Also don’t believe the girls in films. I’ve tried the bend and snap but I don’t do yoga and you can tell. Stalking boys like Geogria and Jazz is creepy and police will get involved and And I haven’t met a boy that is repulsed by my smell… that one I’m happy about.


I don’t think what I wanting is too much of a ask:

6.5ft+, 22-28, can be into rugby but not needed, medic/vet/dentistry (baller), funny personality, can come up with witty Instagram captions, happy to watch me shop in Zara.

So if anyone is selling any cats, get in touch.



PS. I’m not desperate.

Why are you wearing that?

Night out fashion has changed dramatically in recent years. Luckily we have moved from corset belts and PVC.

Maddey and I have put together a list of outfit DO NOTS for the that big night out…

So, please stop:


We are not just saying this because we are from the North but seriously, why are you wearing a coat in a club? Embrace the temperature and have a boogie, it will keep you warm. I mean it’s hardly like we live in the artic. Anyway, you’ll just get too hot and have to pay for it to go into the clock room?? likeee just go without one for free!!!

Shell jackets.

Nothing shouts Eddie the Eagle quite like these.. are you planning on skiing down the stairs Madame Koos?? Lets take off the ‘vintage’ retro ski jackets that you bought to help you find yourself at uni!! Yes it helped to look indie and cool but now it looks like a pill poppin’, red stripe drinker, glitter junkie fresher. And that ain’t cool.

Cycling shorts.

Hadn’t realised Chris Hoy started to do meet and greet in clubs. Strangest fashion ever. Nude cycling shorts… errm sorry what??? Actually, not just nude every colour is bad. Where do you even buy these?  or did you happen to find your old middle school P.E. kit, in that Jane Norman bag?? If you are wearing these, please get out of the club and head to the velodrome, you might have more luck there.

Boob tops.

Can someone explain these tops, half your boob is on show? The nips are hidden so you can load your outfit pic on to Instagram and not get it taken down for indecency.  You could have Kim K boobs and this top will still look bad. We just don’t the logistics of how your boobs don’t end up falling out of this top???? Do you have to use boob tape to secure them? What happens when you start drunk dancing?  Does one not pop out to say hello every so often? You, for sure, must have one hell of a friend to be on that kind of boob watch all night!! Screen Shot 2018-04-04 at 15.45.09

Night out fashion has changed…and I’m not sure if it’s for the better or not??

Saying that, when El used to go to OUT OUT she looked like a child in a skater dress. She was a fashionable child.. you know the saying:

Once a Tammy girl always a Tammy girl x




What do you think about night-out fashion? Leave a comment!


The power of the like

MSN to Bebo to Facebook to Twitter to Instagram. Not sure what happened to the first two but we lost Facebook to our mums andTwitter to those “White Girl Problems”. Maybe we will lose Instagram to our dads?! lol, hi dad thanks for the likes! 🙂

As a society we seem to love likes. 20 likes, 100 likes, 2000 likes. It is just a number game, if a photo doesn’t get enough likes its deleted??? when I hit 20 likes, I feel like running around my kitchen hi5ing my dogs. It seems to be the younger generation (can’t believe I’m saying “younger” when I’m only I’m 22) that are so obsessed with the power of the like. They somehow manage to gain 300 likes on a blurring pic? excuse me,  my good quality photo deserves more likes

I was at school when Instagram, yes kids it only came out in 2010, became a thing. I became an instagroupie in 2012. I know this because I stalked myself instead of someone else the other day (yes I’m one of those girls who knows how your mums, best friend, nieces,, ex boyfriends, new girlfriend holiday was??)  Only now have I realised that I was the most tragic  17 year old on IG, I also noted that I often only achieved 1 or 2 likes. ONE or TWO likes. Imagine that now, I would delete it and dig my own grave..

When I went through my feed and it was clear to see that I was: A, still at school and B, 17 years old. The photos were either; snaps about school, a house party or a photo of free university pens that I collected from a open days (btw that was the pic gained me one like. Thank you Sarah Marshall!!!!) Nothing screamed SHE’S 17 more than my Instagram. Nowadays, I scroll in the most non-weird way through girls feeds and their posts are of night outs, selfies and a ‘love this look thank you @arandommua for my makeup’. Non of this screams I’m 17 at all!. Are they still in school?? Are they 22??? Have they secured a grad-scheme in a leading company?? Are they managing a bottle of wine without getting blind drunk??  My reaction is very similar to Rylan making the live shows on X Factor, when I find out they are 12.

My average likes on Instagram is about 30. Yet Mads has scored an absolute blinder by getting over the 200 mark! So the one question is who is a fault???

Me? maybe I’m not good enough for the likes

My unsupportive friends? shame on you all #fakefriends

My captions? They are becoming less witty??


We’ve been taught forever to respect our elders and that we should always help those in need, likeeeee I always give up my seat on the bus for older people or the lady so full of a baby she looks like she might pop!

Maybe the young Instagram kids should do the same but instead of giving up a seat, they should give up 0.2seconds of their day to double tap on my photo…. after all, it’s basically the same thing.



PS. Most of the tragic photos have been deleted but I’m sure you will stalk me anyway

#RealTalk -University

As an 18-year-old the prospect of moving to a new city fills you with so much excitement. There is this preconception that university is the best experience; a new you. But, for so many, the experience doesn’t live up to the expectation.

I’m sure we all agree that moving in day is the strangest day of your life. Moving your life into a small, overpriced room, with a shower so small you suddenly understand how Buddy felt. i feel you buddy, the elves defo had it easy. It’s all lols, your loved ones joking about how won’t be able to eat steak every night and how you won’t be able to shop in Waitrose anymore (I still have the record for cheapest Waitrose shop; £6 for a week shop…. “unbelievable Jeff”) But, then they go home and you don’t, it is an isolating experience, that we don’t talk about.

A roll of dice. The people you live with, in halls, is down to chance, realistically you won’t know them, you might not know their name. You can try to stalk them online, but let’s be honest no-one looks like their facey-B profile picture. its sort of like ordering a dress from China- it won’t be what you expected. Honestly, the truth is that you might not get on with them, any of them at the beginning. You will think you have nothing in common. …you might be a sheep farmer and they might be vegan….. But don’t judge the book by its cover too much, people are more than just an exterior!

Scrolling through Instagram all your school peers look like they are having the best time. They are always out drinking with their flatmates or playing pub golf with their new society buddies. However, don’t be fooled. I thought this was the case until I came home at Christmas. So many of my friends felt the same as I did and I thought they were loving it. We all can fake a smile for a post and write a caption ‘the best night with the best girls’.

You don’t need to change when you go to university, people will like you for you. Like school, university is cliquey but unlike school, these groups just get on with life. you can say goodbye to all that bitchy nonsense. Over time your group forms, you won’t even realise it happening.

Settling in at university takes time. You might feel like I did, by Christmas I wanted to drop out. I didn’t have a ‘tight nit’ friendship group and I wasn’t enjoying the course but I didn’t want to give up. I thought just make it to the end of the year and decide then. I went back and it was the best decision I made; 2nd year the city felt like home and by 3rd year I didn’t want to leave.

Don’t feel like you have to be drinking 24/7, my flatmate Sophia (no we are not together- together, just pals thanks) and I hardly went out. Why? because it was too much effort; instead we watched netflix, moaned about life and cooked pancakes. (and burnt chicken, I burnt a lot of chicken). Social lives don’t have to survive in a cup of double vodka coke.

Simply; talk. Talking helps, it doesn’t just help you, it helps the listener. If you are brave enough to talk about your emotions the stigma will be broken down. It is OK not to be OK.

some tips that might help you:

  • talk- to your friends from home and people at uni- they might feel the same
  • don’t rush your decisions
  • eat actual food, chicken nuggets doesn’t help the mind, sadly
  • be social- go for coffee, to the cinema or shopping etc
  • University isn’t for everyone, there’s no shame in leaving but give it a chance

You don’t have to wear glitter, shop vintage or do drugs to get the most from University. You will change as a person; you grow into an adult, you experience life and had opportunities thrown in your face. you will also probably get a bit fatter. I haven’t met many people that regretted university, most of us are still clinging on to our student cards in the hope that we save 10%.

If you want to talk about university give us a holla, we are great listeners!


btw Ellie went to Leeds Arts University to study Fine Art and Maddey is at Manchester Met studying Nutritional Sciences!

PS. Cheese is expensive.

A letter to Bravissimo

Dear Bravissimo,

You know the saying mutton dressed as lamb, unfortunately when I go bra shopping I’m left feeling lamb dressed as mutton. I understand that bigger cups means more material but come on, we don’t need thhhatt much material!

When Maddey and I were younger we would put a massive bra on our heads and have a giggle, questioning who would/ could have boobs that big. Turns out it’s me, my boobs really are that big.

The women in the Patterson household represent the world of boobs. Small, Medium and EXTRA EXTRA LARGE. Mum’s the smallest, her bras are lacey and pretty, you’ll often see her styling a Ted Baker one  how fancy!. Maddey buys her bras from Victoria’s Secret or Boux Avenue; these have the real wow factor. Every colour under the sun with sparkles, lace, bows, padding, push-ups, plunge backs, you name it she’s got it. My bras… well they are basic. Not basic like classic. reaaal basic. reaaal boring.

As a young woman with massive nunga-nungas that’s for you Dave the Laugh, I want to feel like everyone else...everyone else with smaller boobs. On occasion, a satin/basic bra is needed but sometimes you want to wear something different, something “fashionable”. As I scroll through your website and flick through the brochure I’m not left feeling inspired. I see hundreds of practical options; nudes, blacks, blues. I don’t see anything fun. For me, your patterns are too dated and colour schemes.. I’m going to say it.. are granny-ish.

Comfort is a major part of a bra, and don’t get me wrong you bras are the comfiest! They fit like a glove… that is after I have had a fitting, trying every every size. But I don’t think they represent the young woman of today. Realistically, your target audience probably isn’t 20-25year olds and therefore your designs will mirror this. However, you are in a position to change the way 20-25yrs look at their bodies and boobs.

Remember that girl at school that was smart, arty, everyones friend and somehow really good at Netball (she probably played county-its fine i didn’t want to play anyway). *eyyye roll, I’m not jealous promise* Well thats my reaction when I see girls with envious boobs well done Mad your boobs are great.

So if I could tell you what I want to see more of, this is what I would start with:

  • sparkles- a few diamonités never hurt anyone or how about glittery material???
  • scalloped edging- nothing is more boring than just an edge, why can’t we have some scalloped edging or lace to finish the cup off softly.
  • colour schemes- less lilac more ‘fashionable’ colours; khaki, mustard yellow, bright pinks and reds etc.
  • more lace less flowers
  • straps- The size of the straps are huge (I’m sure they have to be to help keep ’em up) but have you thought about making the straps look pretty. The obvious is lace edges but make sure it’s more than just a small irritating hoop!

A girl can dream right??!

As a big-boobed gal there’s a pretty short list to where I can shop for bras, if I got a pound everytime someone says ‘have you tried M&S?’ I would be a very very rich girl! Gwen Stefani rich. Bravissimo and the in-store staff are the best, and I’m not just going there because they are the only place that fits me… I would recommend them to anyone, of any age. I love the ethos and determination to help those that have to carry a weekly food shop.. on their chest!!!

Sometimes it hard being a woman, do guys realise how hard it is to multitask??

…like walking and not falling over your boobs is an Olympic sport. I deserve a medal. wheres my medal Seb??



PS. Your lighting in the Newcastle branch is still rubbish!!!!!!

PPS. I hope too see you in Tokyo 2020

Top 5 favourite beauty products in 2017

The change of the year is a time for reflection; not of what you have achieved but how much money you have spent on beauty products.

Here are what we think are the best beauty products we bought in 2017.

Screen Shot 2018-01-09 at 16.24.10

1.BITE BEAUTY. Fruit scrub- whipped cherry.

Remember the smell of Harribo Tangfastics??? Well…this smells just like it! Everything about this products is 10 out of 10. The texture is thick, yet light and whipped. This exfoliator manages to moisturise and remove all that dead skin, yum, in one go. Leaving your lips silky smooth and 100% kissable..form an orderly queue boyyyss.

The scrub came in our bespoke lipstick pack (BITE BEAUTY- Lip Lab)

2.BITE BEAUTY Amuse Bouche lipstick

2017 was the year of liquified lip products. We tried so many.. MAC, Kylie… which cracked on our lips –truly gross. As we are not crackheads, these products were placed to one side and the ultimate liquified product came into view! The Amuse Bouche is incredible! It’s highly pigmented and moisturising, which drys as a satin finish, for us everything you need in a liquid lip! It also smells ammmmaaazzzing, better than mums lasagne! Also, the packaging should be admired, simplicity at its best!

3.NYX neon ultimate

How did we ever created an eye look without this palette??! The build-able shadows add a pop of colour to any look. We adore the pinks and oranges in this palette, we tend to whack a colour through the crease and strut out the door. The best thing about the palette is that it is so wearable…you know… to Waitrose, Wagamamas, Waikiki..wherever you go, you’ll be best in show.

4.KAT VON D ‘everlasting’ liquid lip

I think this product is still on mads’ lip…. its been 4 weeks. The swatch is definitely still on her hand! This doesn’t move, crack or change in colour. It is amazing for a nightout- no matter how many toffee vodka shots you have, it won’t budge..kind of like that guy that bought you the drink.  seriously bbz back off. I don’t want you, just wanted a drink x. Great value for money- thanks Bex!!!

5.Eylure X Fleur de Force lashes

Eylure have a massive range of lashes, ranging from garden party to ‘I’m a stripper’. Girls Aloud brought out a range; a collaboration which lasted longer than their careers. But the BEST eylure lashes are the Fleur de Force collaboration. She’s the best and so are these! The glue can be a bit hit-and-miss so buy some Duo and you’ll be fine!! Our favourites from the range are the ‘green’ and the ‘purple’. The Green ones are 3/4 length, lightweight, great for enhancing the cat-eye. The purple ones are for the party girls. i.e. Maddey, still lightweight but these have the WOW factor! although she has recently upgraded and uses HUDA’re welcome mads. xox

So, we can all raise our glasses and toast to spending waaaay too much in 2018. Remember if you feel good, you look good!



Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram: @thepattersonsisters

What are you top 5 products you bought in 2017? leave a comment below!

Photos taken from these links:

1.Bite Lip Scrub 2.Bite Amuse Bouche 3. NYX Ultimates 4.Kat Von D lipstick 5. Fleur de Force lashes